Well I know this should have been about my mom and what is going on (and has gone on) but something else has come up that I wanted to blog about. Because of all the moving I did with university and moving back home and honestly a lot because of EDS and the accompanying issues, I am down to one good friend in my hometown. This friend "S" has been around a long time in my life. Ironically our parents were acquaintances before we were even born! They used to bowl on a league together but then lost touch with each other when my parents stopped bowling. S and I became friends in grade 3 when I changed schools and we quickly learned our past history through out parents. We were really close until about grade 8 and we grew apart. We were in different levels at high school and in different circles of friends but were always friendly with each other, just didn't get together as often. When I left to go to University we lost touch but when my nephew was born we got back in contact and kept in contact. She was the only person I knew in my home town friend wise when I had to leave university part way through my second degree. She had been there when I had some of my knee surgeries and always stopped by with Slushies and a movie. We grew apart a few years ago again mainly (knowing this now) as I fell into a deep depression and severed most ties with friends. Anyways obviously we got back in contact, and she was married one year ago yesterday. I was not in the wedding mainly because she knew I did not have the money to do it, didn't want to put a strain on our friendship (as we had both had friends that we stood up in for their weddings then the friendship would end) and honestly because my health couldn't take it. We talked frequently on facebook and started spending more and more time together again as she had more problems with other friends.
Anyways, last year around the beginning of April she stopped by the house for a quick visit and we were talking about how my neighbours were pregnant (the girl who lives next door is one of S's good friends sister) and S gave a small smile and said "I'm about a month now" and rubbed her stomach. Mom and I were so happy for her and then she said her mom would kill her because she wasn't supposed to be telling anyone about it as it was so early stages but that she knew I could keep the secret. Since then she ended up losing her job and we fell into similar circumstances again. Not having money to go out shopping all the time or movies every week so since this summer we have basically been getting together weekly and scrap booking or doing some occasional trip across the border for shopping. She confined in me all her fears and worry's about being pregnant and not knowing what to do with a baby (she is pretty much the youngest in her entire family). She was due to have her baby boy on Halloween. She even talked to me about the name of the baby and told me that only family knew and they didn't want anyone else to know as they didn't want to 'jinx' it.
Last night I went facebook and was very surprised to see her brother post a picture of a gorgeous little baby and then confirmed that yes, S had her baby. I went up to the hospital today around 2 and stayed there while they took him to get circumcised and tried feeding him (behind a curtain) and just be there. I found out that her husband had dinner plans with his family and S's mom had plans to go on a day trip with family (remember she gave birth 3 weeks premature so plans had already been made) and that S would be alone from about 5:30 until the next morning! I quickly offered to stay in with her and she looked relieved to have someone there with her. I ran a few errands and got back to the hospital around 5:30 until 9ish when she was going to attempt another feed than get settled down for the night. I found out that I was the only friend that had come up to the hospital to see her so I was the first non-family member (technically) to hold the little man.
I held her little boy most of the evening and even admitted to her that I had regrets. If I had of known that I would end up disabled and my parents having custody of K, I would have stopped school when he was born so that I could be there to watch him grown up more. Then I told her how I wasn't going to have kids and even said that I would love to be able to watch a little baby grow up as this would be my only chance. I told her that if she needed absolutely anything to just call me and that this weekend when her husband has to work, I have no qualms about packing up an overnight bag to go in and stay with her. Both her and her mom looked a little more relaxed when I said that. I helped change a diaper, helped with the creams and gauze from the circumcising and just held and rocked him and she remarked that I knew what I was doing and she was going to need help and was glad that I knew what I was doing lol.
So all of that was really good news... the bad news? I am in pure agony right now. My entire right leg is in spasms and painful (even a pain killer isn't dulling it) and my right arm right from neck down to fingers is burning. It really makes me mad that just going in and getting to know my best friends new little baby and holding him for a few hours has caused so much pain. It is just so frustrating :( Going to have to double up on the pain meds if I want any chance to sleep tonight :S
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