I couldn't get through this life without my mom. This last week has been eye-opening and pretty pleasant. Only a few not so good things but the good things are so important to me. She truly has become my closest friend and my biggest advocate. Makes things so much easier. So here are the good and (mildly) bad.
Mom - Good
She really really understands the limitations my knee has been putting me on and the fact that it is damaged (and is accepting that surgery will be needed). She is the one that reminds me to take my crutch if I don't think I need it, will go and get things out of my room for me if we are upstairs (my room is in the basement) and just letting me rest it as much as possible (letting the dogs in and out etc). She even broke a rule at K's school!! The school has a circular drive for the buses to come and go, no cars are to be in that area at all. Well on friday we were in the middle of an ice storm so mom took us to the school and went through the bus lane to drop me off as she didn't want me even attempting to walk on slippery sidewalks (not to mention the bunch of kids hurrying to get in). As soon as I got out a teacher came over and started to go on about how that was not permitted and to tell the driver she can't do that etc etc. I apologized and said that we were here volunteering and I had a messed up knee (I used a crutch too) and mom didn't want chancing it. Well I told mom about this and she got angry. There were no buses in the lane at the time or she would have waited until all the buses had left. When that teacher came in to the bookfair mom went up to her to talk with her (mom does not do confrontations!!!). She stated why she did it and that she would do it again if she needed to as well. The teacher did apologize and said we had been the third car to go through and the first driver flipped her off and the second gave her some nasty words as well. So that was very nice that my mom did what was best for me and went up to the teacher stating that she was doing what had to be done and that she would do it again. Just trust me that that is a big deal for her.
Getting bloodwork on thursday it was me and two nurses and mom in the clinic. The one nurse was finding a vein and the phone rang so nurse two answered it. Well this bloodwork requred three syringes full and we all know that my veins are very sensitive and that the nurse moving even slightly can cause the vein to collapse. At one point during this, mom stood up and asked if she could do anything to help out. Then after all that was done, she volunteered to stop at Timmie's to get an Ice Cap (my usual post-bloodwork drink) but I just wanted to get home. So I get in bed and she comes in with a pop to get me to drink something sugary. She just seems to get it more lately. I dont know if its because her hip/lower back/sciatica is bothering her so she sympathizes but it's definitly nice.
Mom - Bad
These aren't really bad even. I just mentioned that I wondered if the skin issues I have could be signs of the lupus butterfly and she shut me down quickly stating that I don't have lupus. But I know that is also typical parent not wanting to look at bad things of their kids until they come out 100%. Also we got news that K is most likely to have ADD. I would like to get him to a doctor soon to get a real label and suggestions as what to do and also that medications might be needed in K's case. He is above average intellegence but his grades are quite below average. My thoughts are that if it helps him then we go for it, she doesnt want to because of K's genetics. But the same was with me really. We'll see how it goes.
Re Kyler
ReplyDeleteGetting a formal diagnosis is needed in order to get "identified" at school. Without going through the process the school is not legally required to provide accomodations. A psycho-educational assessment may provide lots of strategies to try before going the medication route. We exhasuted all of the adaptive strategies before getting meds for my boys.
One book that I would strongly recommend is: Exceptional children - Ordinary Schools by Dr. Norm Forman. It gives a great break down of how the process work in Ontario and other provinces.
Thankfully (i thinks lol) Kyler has already been diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder which will allow his IEP become permanent. We will definitly go through all the conservative treatment first but I fear that my parents aren't even considering medications and I don't like the thought of my nephew being medicated but I want the best for him and he is so smart (tested above average in IQ) and get's so frustrated at school (his marks are low to below average). I just hate seeing him struggle so much and become so frustrated when I know he is such a smart young boy.
ReplyDeleteI think my mom isn't too concerned about the potential ADD as I believe she doesn't quite believe it and figures it's just the CAPD issues. When he was diagnosed with CAPD they told mom that most kids are diagnosed with ADD when in reality they had CAPD. My dad also doesnt get it and is very very anti-medication as he is a recovering alcoholic himself, and with both kyler's parents being drug addicts, he does have a reason but I mean I am on strong pain medications with no drug addiction issues. They told my mom that if left untreated he was more likely to exlore self-medicating when he gets to high school.
I will definitly see if I can find that book at the library next time I am there. Thankfully his teacher is amazing, there is no way possible that she could do more for Kyler, she is just so great with him and with us and helping where she can (such as we have a math textbook at home so he didn't have to remember to bring it to and from school daily and also so I could see exactly how the lesson was being taught). He has a very hands-on resource teacher as well (a male which is nice as it's the first time as having a male teacher outside of karate and he seems to really like him).
Would you be able (if you have time) let me know which diet's or vitamins or whatever you tried? There is so much information out there that it's hard to figure out which ones are legitamite. If you are too busy I completely understand!!
~Stacey
Diets and vitamins made no difference what-so-ever. The best bet is a very structured day with clear expectations. Figure out the way that he learns best and tailor his lessons and homework time accordingly. I was very against meds but in the long run we had exhausted all of the behavioural approaches. The behaviour stuff worked but it just wasn't enough. This may be especially true when he is already dealing with so much. check with you area Learning Disabilities association to see what they have to offer too. The psyco-ed assessment should provide a lot of reccomendations as well.
ReplyDeleteI'll see what else I can find.
I doubt diet and vitamins is going to be a factor here either as he does daily vitamins and has a very very limited food range. Structure is key with him and has been all along. His teacher lets him know if they are changing rooms a few minutes before hand or if anything different is happening that day. Like I said, I don't think there is anything else his teacher could do for him as she is just amazing.
ReplyDeleteThe lady who did the physco-ed evaluation has given us a bunch of recommendations (the teacher and resource teachers took like 5 pages of notes in the 30minute meeting!). I think out biggest hurdle right now is my dad but he has agreed to meet with the resource teacher and talk with him about it. After that I think we will go the doctor route to get a yes or no oh if it is ADD and we will go from there. Thanks for the info and thoughts!
An ADD diagnosis should not be done with just a doctor visit. Usually questionaires need to be completed by the parents and teacher. Then an assessment is done by the psychologist or psychiatrist. Any meds must be prescribed by a MD or psychiatrist.
ReplyDeleteOne thing to note down the road is that some insurance companies are starting to refuse to insure young drivers with ADD or ADHD unless they are on meds. When you think about it it makes sense. Do you want a easly distracable teen driving a ton of steel down a highway?
My oldest is ADD and the meds made a huge difference is his ability to stay on task to complete school work. In turn we saw improvements with self esteem and confidence.
I hope that your Dad finds a way to accept this. My biggest regret is that I didn't accept it earlier because Andrew didn't need the extra struggles.
We have already done the questionaires (both us, his teacher and resource teacher) as well as the pyscho-ed met with him a couple of times and worked with him. She gave us the name of a pediatrician to contact to deal with a diagnosis and treatment options.
ReplyDeleteThat actually makes a lot of sense about driving! My cousin is textbook ADHD and you can tell within 30 seconds whether he took his meds for the day or not. That is the good thing as we have a very close example as to how well the medications can change the kids lives.
Kyler is starting to really get frustrated about his memory and getting distracted and it hurts so much to watch him. As soon as dad has gone to see the resource I am definitly going to be at mom to make an appointment to at least and go to talk to the doctor. I am hoping that as the resource teacher is a man whose daughter has learning difficulties that dad will be able to relate well to him and he will be able to get through to dad. Dad tends to ignore things that are wrong with his kids until someone in a higher position (dr, teacher etc) tells him straight out that is the problem, then he is accepting of it. I can see why they are concerned about drugs with Kyler's past but he shouldn't have to suffer because of his parents stupidity (in fact they suggested that it could be part of the drinking and possible drugs during pregnancy)
How old were Andrew and Josh when they were diagnosed and started on meds? Kyler is 9 and in grade 4.
Again thanks, knowing someone who has gone through it makes it easier (as us EDSers all know already :) )